Prince Darling

This one is another that I first heard through “Fractured Fairy Tales” and was astounded to find was an actual, real fairy tale. This one also comes to us from Andrew Lang, though there’s no telling where he heard it. Halfway through writing my version, I realized it made a pretty good practical demonstration of “irony,” which some people (I’m talkin’ to you, Ma!) still have a hard time with.

A lot of people are confused about irony. Basically, it means to use words to mean something other than their literal meaning or when things are the oposite of what you’d expect. So, for instance, if a professional woodcutter found himself with nothing to build a fire, that would be ironic. If a hairdresser was bald, that would be pretty ironic. If it rains on your wedding day, that’s not ironic, just unfortunate. Or, if, for example, a man’s name was Darling but he was actually cruel, selfish and unkind, that would be very ironic. It would also be what this story is about: Prince Darling.

Prince Darling’s father was, as you may have been able to deduce for yourselves, a king and he was known to be an honest, benevolent, merciful king who gave a care. In fact, he actually was darling (which, if his name had been something like “Meanie” or “Jerkface” would have been ironic, but since his name was Dennis, it wasn’t. Are we pretty clear on irony as a concept? Good. On we go). One day King Dennis was out walking in the woods, thinking about all the nice things in his life.

“I like my castle…I like my court jester…I like spaghetti…I like sitting in the big, comfy throne…I like rabbits. Like that one!” And sure enough a little white rabbit ran straight up to him, terrified by something and leapt right into the king’s arms. “There, there, little bunny,” said the king. “You can come home with me. I’ll take care of you.” So the king took the bunny home and saw to it that she was well taken care of.

That night the king was awoken (awakened? Awokened? How the heck do you say this?) by a strange visitation. A beautiful woman in a white gown appeared to him. “Good King Dennis,” she said in a voice that was nothing short of angelic. “I am the Good Fairy, Melisande. I heard that you were very kind, so I disguised myself as a cuddly bunny, knowing that only a real jerk could be mean to a cuddly bunny. Because you have proved yourself worthy, I will grant you a wish.”

Well, the king thought about it for a moment, but in the end it was clear what he should wish for. “Nothing in my life is more precious to me than my son, Prince Darling. Unfortunately, I’m worried that he might be on the wrong path. For my wish, I would like you to look after my son and do what you can to make him a good man and a good king.” The fairy agreed to do this and, a few years later, when the king passed away, she set to work.

Prince Darling loved his father very much and missed him terribly. Other than that, he was super-psyched to be the king! It’s worth mentioning at this point that kings in those days didn’t usually take a very active role in their kids’ upbringing. Darling had been raised by a governess (which is like a nanny) who was not very strict with him. She gave in to his every tantrum, his every slightest whim was granted. As a result, Prince Darling as a young man was very, very spoiled and selfish. And his idea of a king’s duties basically involved doing whatever he wanted all the time and arresting anyone who tried to stop him.

Clearly, Melisande had her work cut out for her.

She appeared to King Darling as she had appeared to his father: as a cute, cuddly bunny. When Darling drew his crossbow, however, she knew this wasn’t gonna work, so she turned back into a lady. “I promised your late father that I’d look out for you,” she said, sternly. “Now I can’t force you to be a good person, but maybe I can help you to realize when you’re being bad.” With that, she slipped a gold ring onto Darling’s finger. “Everytime you do or say anything you shouldn’t, that ring will prick your finger like a needle. Hopefully, that will teach you the difference between right and wrong.”

And, really, that should’ve worked. When Darling did something small, like get into a temper for not getting his way, he felt a small pinprick on the ringed finger. When he did something worse, like shouting at the servants, it was more like the tip of a knife pricking him. And when he did something really awful, like kicking a puppy (seriously, who kicks a puppy?) the ring actually made his finger bleed. At first, when he felt the pain, he stopped what he was doing and tried to do the right thing. But after a while he got really sick of it.

“I’m the King!” he shouted to no one in particular. “Why should I let some stupid fairy tell me what to do?” So he pulled the ring off his finger and hurled it into the lake. There it was promptly swallowed by a fish who, two days later, was caught by a fisherman who found the ring and gave it to his wife who had an unfortunate habit of judging her neighbors and gossiping about them. But now, every time she did, the ring pricked her finger and she learned to be kinder to others, which just goes to prove that the ring bit would’ve worked on anyone but Darling.

At any rate, the now un-ringed king was riding through his country one day, when he saw a beautiful shepherdess by the side of the road. Captivated by her great beauty, he rode up to her and announced that she would marry him.

“No, sire,” said the shepherdess. “I am in love with another. A young man from my village. I will marry none but him.”

“But I am your king and I have great love for you.”

“If you truly loved me, sire, you would want me to be happy and marry the man I choose.”

“Nonsense!” said King Darling. “I’m the king, I want you, so I get to have you. That’s how this works! Now marry me or be put to death.”

“I think…neither!” And in a flash, the shepherdess had turned into Melisande, glaring angrily at King Darling. “I thought I would give you one last chance to do something right. But, I daresay, after all these years of thinking only of yourself, you’ve forgotten how to do anything right. You may look like a man on the outside, but on the inside you are a monster! And I think it’s about time you looked the part!” The fairy waved her hands and cast a spell on King Darling. Another flash and she was gone, and the king was transformed into…into a…a sort of…he was. Well, he looked kinda like this:

Not so much pretty, huh?

Melisande had made it so that Darling looked as nasty on the outside as he was on the inside. He couldn’t even talk anymore. All anyone heard was a horrible snarling sound. He couldn’t go home in this state, so he ran deep into the forest, to hide from all the world.

At first, Darling simply cursed Melisande's name and blamed her, and his father, for everything that had happened to him. But solitude is great for self-reflection, and after a few weeks of living in the woods, hiding from all other living beings (except, I guess, trees and stuff), Darling began to understand that some of the fault was his…a few weeks later, it occurred to him that most of the fault was his…after six full months, he accepted that it was all his fault. He had thought only of himself and treated others with cruelty and what had happened to him was all he deserved.

As luck would have it, it was on this day that Darling, feeling so sorry for himself that he didn’t look where he was going, fell into a deep, dark pit that hunters had dug to catch bears and the like. When the hunters saw Darling in the pit, however, they didn’t know what to make of him. Or even what to call him. In the end, they decided that he would make a great addition to the royal menagerie, so they packed him in a cage and took him to the palace.

Darling was apprehensive at the thought of returning to his palace after all this time. True, he’d only been gone three months, but he didn’t know what to expect when he got back. He thought maybe his people would still be looking for him, wondering what had become of him. Maybe they took him for dead and were still in mourning over their lost monarch. He certainly didn’t expect a coronation to be going on.

“WHAT?!?!” he shouted, though it sounded like a horrible growl to everyone around him.

“Yes,” repeated one of the hunters to the palace guard. “A brand new kind of animal, just discovered in the forest. We’d like to give it as a gift to the new king.”

Darling’s cage was taken into the throne room and presented to the man who would soon be crowned king. To Darling’s surprise, it was his old tutor, a kindly old man who had always loved Darling like a father. From the conversations he’d overheard upon his arrival, Darling surmised that he had been made steward of the throne once he, Darling, had gone missing all those months ago. As steward, his job was to keep the kingdom running in the absence of her rightful monarch. But, as it turned out, he was a much better king than Darling. He cared about other people, he was unselfish, he was generous, merciful, compassionate. He was very much like the late, great King Dennis, in fact. So the people of the kingdom had decided to make it official and crown the steward king. None of them even seemed to care what had happened to Darling!

“Please, please, my people,” said the steward as he addressed the assembled. “I accept the throne of this kingdom only because you demand it, and as king, I am nothing if not a servant to my people.” This struck Darling as odd, but he kept listening. “In my heart, however, I know I am only filling in for our true king, young Darling, who went missing only three months ago. I know he wasn’t perfect.”

“That’s for dang sure!” cried someone in the crowd.

“But I knew him all his life,” continued the steward, unperterbed by this interruption, “and I knew his father before him. And I saw in Darling the potential to be a great king. I would give my very life to see him in his rightful place on this throne.”

“Works for me!” growled Darling and with the great animal strength he now possessed, he tore his way out of the cage and lunged straight for the steward. But before he could strike a killing blow, he looked into the old man’s eyes. And he saw the eyes of the kindly tutor who had patiently taught him for all those years. And the eyes of the good, wise fairy who had given him so many chances to change, each of which he had ignored. And the eyes of his dear, departed father who had one wish, and used it to make his only son a better man.

Darling realized that he couldn’t do it. The country was better off without him. He wanted to be a good king, but the first step was putting the needs of his people ahead of his own. So he went back into his cage and covered his face with his paws.

“Darling,” came a familiar voice. “You have finally proved yourself worthy of the crown. Now get up. Your people are waiting for you.”

As Melisande’s voice faded away, Darling looked up. The first thing he saw were his hands. Not paws, mind you, but hands. He was still in the cage but he had turned back into his old self. All the guests at the coronation were shocked at what they had seen, but they knew their long lost king when they saw him…and they also remembered what a jerk he was so, fearful for their lives, they all started to cheer.

“No!” cried Darling. “I don’t deserve applause or cheers. I have not been the king you deserve. The king my father wanted me to be. But I have learned a lot recently, and I want a second chance to serve you all better, even though I know I don’t deserve it.”

“If that’s how you feel,” said the steward. “You do deserve it. Hail, King Darling! Long live the King!” And so, the coronation went ahead as planned, with only one slight change: It was our old friend Darling who was re-crowned king. Only by giving up the throne could he prove himself worthy of it, and only by becoming a monster could he learn what it was to be a man.

And it doesn’t get much more ironic than that!

THE END

NEXT WEEK: "The Enchanted Bridegroom"

Prince Hyacinth and the Dear Little Princess

Yes, you read that right.

Anyone who loves “Rocky and Bullwinkle” knows that one of their most popular segments was “Fractured Fairy Tales,” which were basically parodies and pastiches on the stories we all know and love. Surprisingly, their off-beat, satirical, sometimes just plain stupid versions of fairy tales were a great inspiration to me in creating this blog. Sometimes, however, when they couldn’t think of a story, they would make one up. Not surprisingly, I was under the impression that this is a story they made up. Imagine my surprise when I realized it came from "The Blue Fairy Book" by Andrew Lang! Even with this knowledge, however, I will always associate it with Fractured Fairy Tales.

Once upon a time there was a lovely little kingdom ruled by a lovely little king who was very unhappy. You see, he was in love with a beautiful princess. The problem was she was under an enchantment. Every day the king would visit her and ask “How are you?”

“Enchanted,” she would say.

“Have you tried a cold compress?”

“Yes, it didn’t work.”

“What about ibuprofen?”

“No, that doesn’t help either.”

The rest of his time was usually spent pacing the floor of his castle, worrying. One day, while he was pacing a fairy appeared in front of him.

“Uh oh!” he said. “You’re not gonna turn me into a frog are you?” This king lived in perpetual fear of being turned into a frog...we all have our hangups.

“What? No, of course not. Look, you are the king who’s girlfriend is under an enchantment, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Good, then this is the right place. I’m here to tell you how to lift the enchantment.”

“Hurray!”

“Yes, I know.”

“So, how do I do it?”

“Step on her cat’s tail.”

There was a long silence before the king said, “Er…what did you say?”

“Step on her cat’s tail! Now I’ve gotta go. Three kingdoms over there’s a girl who wants to go to a ball and meet a prince. Good luck!” And with that, the fairy vanished. The king was confused, but he still went to see the princess.

“How are you?”

“Enchanted.”

“Taking plenty of vitamins?”

“Yes.”

“Lots of fluids?”

“Yes.”

“Have you tried Pepto-Bismal?”

“That helped a little, but I’m still enchanted.”

“I see. Well, maybe it would help if I stepped on your cat’s tail.”

“What? How would that help?”

“I don’t know. Never mind. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.” But as the king turned to go, the princess’s cat walked across his path and he stepped on her tail by accident. With a  loud yowl, the cat changed before the king’s eyes into a huge ogre. “Okay, now I get turned into a frog, right?”

“No!” said the ogre. “I’m here to deliver a prophecy.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and here it is: The princess will marry you and give birth to a son who will have a nose like a casaba melon. And, until he says to the world, ‘I have a nose like a casaba melon,’ he’ll have a nose like a casaba melon. Understand?”

“Not really,” said the king, but it didn’t matter, because the ogre and turned back into the cat who was so freaked out by the experience that she ran straight under the bed and stayed there for a whole month. But the good news was that the princess was no longer under her enchantment. She and the king were married at once and nine months later, the queen gave birth to a beautiful baby boy…at which point the king turned into a frog and was never heard of again.

The queen, however, was very proud of her son whom she named Prince Hyacinth. And, indeed, he was a beautiful boy…except that he did have kind of a big nose…kind of a huge nose…kind of an enormous, gargantuan, unbelievable nose. The queen, of course, having been under an enchantment at the time, did not hear the prophecy so she didn’t know how the curse could be lifted. What she did know was that she didn’t want her son to grow up feeling self-conscious about his looks. So she passed a law that all citizens of her kingdom had to wear large, false noses so that the prince wouldn’t think it was unusual. This law was rigidly enforced and anyone who entered the country, even if it was just to pass through, was issued a false nose at the entrance which they returned on their way out, kind of like 3-D glasses at the movies.

The years went by and the boy grew into a fine young man with a nose like a…well, you know. And when he was twenty-one, a dance was held at the palace and all the eligible maidens from across the lands were invited to come, in the hopes that one would be Prince Hyacinth’s soul mate. Of course there were many beautiful ladies at the party, but the one Prince Hyacinth liked best was a dear little princess from a nearby kingdom…who wasn’t wearing a false nose! Somehow it had fallen off and nobody had noticed!

“Get out of here at once!” cried the queen.

“Mother, please,” said Prince Hyacinth, a name I don’t get tired of saying. “I like her.”

“Like her? But…look at her nose!”

“So she looks a little different. There’s room for all kinds of noses in the world. Big ones, small ones…” he turned to the princess and said, “I’m sorry if we upset you. Perhaps you’d let me give you a kiss to make up for it?” She agreed but with his nose he found it very difficult to kiss her.

“Why don’t you just take it off?” said the princess. You see, she assumed that it was a false one just like everyone else’s, since she didn’t know the reason for the law.

The queen was horrified, but the prince just laughed. “Okay, you tell me: How do I take off my nose?”

“Like this!” said the dear little princess and she reached over to the first party guest she could find and pulled off his nose. Prince Hyacinth was shocked. He started yanking at everyone’s nose and each one came off in his hand. Even his mother's! Now he realized that all his life he’d been the one who was different. The freak! “But you said it yourself, your majesty,” said the princess, “there’s room for all kinds of noses. Big ones, small—”

“Big? My nose isn’t just big! It’s…it’s…oh, let’s face it, dear little princes: I have a nose like a casaba melon!”

As soon as he had said these words, that very same fairy who had told Prince Hyacinth’s father to step on the cat’s tail appeared. “Wait a minute!” she said. “What’s that you just said?”

“Er…I said I had a nose like a casaba melon?”

“That’s what I thought you said. Okay, curse is lifted, spell is broken, sign here, initial here and…alakazam!”

In a flash of light and a puff of smoke, two things happened. One is that the fairy vanished to deal with a sleeping princess in another part of the world. The other is that the prince’s nose was back to a more normal size. He and the dear little princess got married and lived happily ever after without even turning into frogs!

THE END

NEXT WEEK: "The Box of Robbers"

Sleeping Beauty

Also known as “The Sleeping Beauty in the Woods,” this is another classic story that has been forever immortalized by Walt Disney. Prior to Disney’s immortalization, however, it was immortalized as a ballet by Tchaikowsky. It was this ballet and not the original story that Walt and his team used to bring the story to the screen. George Bruns even adapted the familiar themes of Tchaikowsky’s score as the songs used in the movie.

This story is one of the best examples on record in favor of censoring classing fairy tales. The eraliest known version of the story, which was popular in 1636, is one of the most grizzly and horrific fables ever told. The prince stumbles upon Sleeping Beauty but, rather than just kiss her, he rapes her unconscious body then goes back to his wife. Sleeping Beauty awakens (somehow) and bears the twins the prince left her with. The prince’s wife (somehow) gets wind of these kids and has them killed and made into supper for her husband (even though the cook lets the kids go, the prince is still made to believe that he is eating his own children).

(Incidentally, the book Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things by Charles Panati was a great help in researching these historic facts about the stories on this blog so if you’re interested in learning more about the history of fairy tales, nursery rhymes, zippers, Pepsi, Uncle Sam and the practice of hanging  a horseshoe over your door for good luck, seek out this tome.)

The version of the story that appears here is the same basic plot as Tchaikowsky and Disney used, with one or two touches of my own, usually employed when I couldn’t remember the story very well. To which I’m sure my reader(s) will say “But, Templeton, my boy, why didn’t you simply reread the story if you couldn’t remember it?” And my answer to that is, “Yes, that would’ve been a good idea.”

…anyhoo, here’s the story:

O

nce upon a time there was a great kingdom, the Kingdom of Borealis, which bordered the Fairying Forest. The Forest was the home of the Fairies, who lived together in harmony, in a society not too dissimilar from our own. There were houses and schools and families just like in our world. And, as in all societies, there was government. In this case, a council of Seven Wise Fairies. The Red Fairy, the Gold Fairy, the Blue Fairy, the Silver Fairy, the White Fairy, the Green Fairy and the Black Fairy. Each possessed a different type of power and together they kept peace and prosperity in the forest.

Now, some years prior to the events of this story, a decision was reached regarding the human population of Borealis. It was decided that since we humans have no magic, it was the responsibility of the Forest Fairies to watch over them. A vote was called for and the motion to make Borealis an official Protectorate of the Fairy Government passed six votes to one.

And so, for many centuries, both kingdoms got along very well and lived in peace and harmony. The King and Queen of Borealis always valued the Fairies’ counsel above all others. So, when the Queen gave birth to her first child, it was only natural that the Council of Fairies be invited to the Christening.

Unfortunately, there was a problem. As a matter of tradition, Fairy guests always ate from gold plates. But one of the gold plates had been damaged some years ago. There were now no longer enough for all seven Fairies. This didn’t bother the King and Queen, because it gave them an excuse to not invite one of the Fairies who no one really liked anyway.

This proved to be a terrible mistake.

On the day of the christening, the child was introduced to the world and given the name of “Aurora,” which means “the dawn.” On this day, she was also betrothed. That is, promised to be married to Prince Philip from a nearby kingdom. Philip, being five years Aurora’s senior, had little interest in her, but did as his father told him.

The party was a terrific success. When the six fairies arrived they each took turns bestowing a gift on the newborn child. Beauty…grace…song…purity of heart…intelligence…and the Blue Fairy was just about to give her gift when a thunderclap was heard. A wind that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere roared through the chamber, blowing out every candle. Billowing black smoke appeared as if from nowhere and when it cleared, there stood the Black Fairy…mad as a whole forest full of hornets’ nests.

“Well!” she said, her voice as cold as ice. “I see we are all having a wonderful time tonight. The food smells delicious. And everyone is so nicely dressed. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was some sort of party. But, look! Here are the King and Queen! That means it could not be a party. For, you see, any party that the King and Queen would attend would surely be a state function…and in that case…I would’ve been invited!!”

“Please, your grace,” began the King, “let me explain. We wanted to invite you, of course we did. But we only had enough gold plates for six. And since you have declined each and every invitation we have extended, we assumed…”

“Silence!” bellowed the Black Fairy. And as she did, a terrible tempest wind blew. “I care little for your puny excuses. And it is not important that I would have declined anyway. You insulted me and for that you must pay!”

“Your grace,” said the Blue Fairy, taking control. “Please be reasonable. The King and Queen meant you no offense. And I am certain that any request you might make of them will happily be granted to make up for this unfortunate incident.”

“Unfortunate incident? Sister Fairy, do I not sit on the same council as yourself? Have I not the same powers as you and our five colleagues? Then why am I so easily cast aside? Why am I so expendable?”

“No one is saying that you are expendable.” Though practically everyone in the room was thinking it.

“Enough! The time for talking is done. I will take my leave of this place and never return.” This made everyone very happy, until the Black Fairy added, “But first…I have something to give the baby!”

Instinctively, the Queen lunged for her child, but it did no good. The Black Fairy waved her arms and spoke a prophecy. “Princess Aurora,” she declared, “will indeed grow up with the gifts that have, this day, been bestowed upon her. And up until her eighteenth birthday, she will be very happy. But before sunset on that day, she will prick her finger on a needle and die!” With these ominous words, the Black Fairy disappeared, cackling as she did so.

The Queen was struck with despair. She held her baby closer to herself as though her love could save her from this fate…and perhaps it could, because just then the Blue Fairy said, “If you please, Your Majesty, I believe I can help.”

“You can? Can you lift this terrible curse?”

“No, I cannot. The Black Fairy’s Dark Magic is too strong. But I can save Aurora’s life.” She took the baby from her mother’s arms and held the tiny princess tenderly. “Little One,” said the Blue Fairy, “on your eighteenth birthday, you will prick your finger on a needle. But it will not be fatal. It will simply put you into a deep, dreamless sleep. During this time you will not age, nor wither, nor die. You will simply wait for Love’s First Kiss. For when your true love’s lips touch yours for the first time, the spell will be broken, you will awaken, and all will be happy forever after.”

The words of the Blue Fairy were of great comfort to the King and Queen. Nonetheless, they decided that it was better not to take chances. A proclamation was made banning the use of all needles or needle-like implements. All the sewing needles, knitting needles, spinning wheels and other tools were taken into the center of the town and burned in a bonfire. But the King and Queen felt that this was not enough. As they were struggling to think of a solution, the Blue Fairy appeared to them with an idea.

That was the last night that Aurora would spend at the castle for many years. Under cover of darkness, the Blue Fairy stole away with the baby in tow. She would care for the child in the Fairying Forest for eighteen years, until it was safe to bring her back to her family. It was a great risk she was taking, as it was forbidden for humans to live in the Forest. They could visit from time to time, and the hunting was well known as the best in the country, but as soon as night fell, all humans had to leave.

But, the Blue Fairy had no choice.

And so it was that, for the next eighteen years, the Blue Fairy raised the child secretly in the Forest. She called the young princess by the name “Rosebud,” just in case the Black Fairy was still trying to find her. For if the evil Fairy found that the Blue Fairy was caring for a human child, princess or no, her rage would be uncontrollable. You see, the Black Fairy had been the only council member who had been opposed to the idea of granting the humans the protection of magic. She felt their lack of magic made them weak, inferior, and therefore undeserving of such protection.

But for eighteen happy years, no one saw or heard from the Black Fairy. Peace reigned throughout the land. Sad though they were to say goodbye, the King and Queen were comforted to know that their daughter was safe and in good hands. And all parties eagerly awaited the girl’s eighteenth birthday, the day when she would return to the castle, reclaim her birthright and live out the rest of her life in happiness and prosperity.

As for Prince Philip, he was fully aware that as soon as the exiled princess was of age, he would have to marry her. But he simply tried to ignore the fact. The way you block out something you are anticipating and dreading, like chores or visiting your unmarried aunt. Not that Prince Philip dreaded the idea of marriage…well, actually, yes, he did. Philip enjoyed his life. Living by his own rules and doing as he pleased. Hunting in the nearby forests, riding through the kingdom, helping his subjects. He knew that a marriage, however nice the girl might be, would throw a monkey wrench into his lifestyle and he did not want it…especially since monkey wrenches hadn’t been invented yet.

Unfortunately, he could ignore his fate no longer. For finally the day came when the princess was to return, and soon he would marry. And not just marry, but marry someone he had met only once, when she was only a few days old, whom he had not seen since. Whom no one had seen since! His father tried to reassure him that this union would be the best thing for both kingdoms. He also reminded his young son that five fairies had bestowed various gifts upon the baby so that she would be a pleasant companion.

“I do not doubt it, father,” bemoaned the Prince. “But I do not like the idea of marrying someone I don’t know against my will. Can’t you understand that?”

“Frankly…no.”

Prince Philip had no choice. That morning he woke, dressed and got in a carriage. He rode to the Kingdom of Borealis with a heavy heart. The King and Queen greeted him, but evaded the question when he asked where his fiancée was. They had managed to keep the curse a secret for some time, and they felt it best not to burden the young prince with the informatio now. For his part, Prince Philip assumed it was a tradition, not seeing the bride before the wedding. He was shown to his quarters and told that he would be married at sundown. This gave him the rest of the day to himself…and he noticed a lush, green forest near the castle when he rode into town…

An hour later, when the steward came to ask if he wanted anything, he found only a note on the pillow which said, “Gone Huntin’.”

The Fairying Forest was a beautiful place. Imagine everything nice about nature rolled together and sprinkled with magic fairy dust. The trees seemed to dance in the wind. The dewdrops sparkled like diamonds. The beams of light which shone through the high branches were as deep and radiant as moonlight.

These were the observations made by Prince Philip as he surveyed the territory. He knew at once that he would do well here. And sure enough he hadn’t been in the forest more than twenty minutes before he saw a beautiful deer. She was standing by a pond, having a drink. Philip ducked down behind a shrubbery and pulled an arrow from his quiver. The deer had no idea he was there. He lay the arrow carefully in the bow…he pulled the string taut…and then…

“NO!”

The Prince jerked and his arrow flew into the forest, narrowly missing a sleepy owl. The deer heard the noise and ran into the trees. Philip was furious. “Now look what you’ve done!” he said as he turned to face whoever had shouted.

Actually all he got out was “Now look wh—” before he saw who had shouted. The most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Dressed like a peasant in a long skirt and laced bodice. A sweeping, curvy figure and a simply enchanting face. Long locks of golden-brown hair fell past her shoulders. Her lips were full and red. And her eyes…my goodness! Her eyes!

“How could you even think of shooting a poor defenseless deer?” she said. Somehow she was even beautiful when she was angry.

“I…I…” was all the Prince could say, he was so taken by her beauty.

“What if she had been a mother? What would you have done for her poor children?”

“I’m sorry,” Philip said at last. “I didn’t mean any harm. I’m a sportsman, you see.”

“A sportsman? Hunting is not a sport, you fool! It is a necessity. You hunt because you have no other means of food or you don’t do it at all. What’s sporting about shooting an animal for fun?”

“It takes skill, patience and strength to be a good hunter. That’s what I call a sport.” The girl simply turned and walked away but Philip caught up with her. “Wait, wait,” he said. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Philip. What’s yours?”

“Rosebud,” said Rosebud, noticing for the first time what lovely, dark eyes Philip had. “And maybe I was a little harsh. You aren’t from around here, are you?”

“Why no. I’m in town for…for a wedding.” He neglected to mention whose wedding.

“That’s nice…are you hungry? I live not far from here.”

Rosebud led Philip to the cottage the Blue Fairy had made for her. They had lunch together and talked of this and that. And as they talked and learned more about each other, both Rosebud and Philip were falling more and more deeply for each other. It was nearly sundown before Philip finally left, and it was not his decision to do so. The Blue Fairy arrived and chased him away…with a carving knife.

“What are you thinking?” she yelled at Rosebud. “Letting a man in here? Didn’t I tell you how dangerous that was?”

“I like him,” said Rosebud. “He’s very kind and handsome and—”

“I don’t care! I told you no strangers. That is final. Besides, it doesn’t matter if you like him. You are promised to another.”

“What?”

“Rosebud…I have been keeping this from you for too long. Sit down.” Rosebud sat and the Blue Fairy told her all about her past. How she was born a princess and how the Black Fairy had cursed her on the day of her Christening. How the Blue Fairy had gone to such lengths to protect her. How she had cared for her these last eighteen years and how today, on her birthday, she was to return to the castle and marry the Prince.

Rosebud…excuse me, Aurora, was devastated. As you would probably be too, if you were suddenly asked to change your entire life in a matter of hours, especially on your birthday. She didn’t want to marry some stranger. She didn’t want to live with a King and Queen she didn’t know. She liked her cottage, she didn’t want to leave the Forest. So she did what, again, you would probably do in her shoes:

She ran.

She ran deep into the Fairying Forest. The Blue Fairy tried to catch her, but Aurora was too fast. She ran, her streaming tears blinding her, until she could run no more. Then she simply collapsed to the ground and began to sob. There she stayed for several minutes until she heard an odd voice saying, “Are you all right, child?”

Aurora looked up and saw a withered old crone. An old woman with a wrinkled face and a long Black robe.

“No,” said Aurora. “I’m not all right. Everything I am is a lie. I’m being forced to marry against my will. I—”

“There, there, child,” said the Old Crone. “I will protect you. Come into my house and I will fix you a nice warm pot of tea.” Aurora let the Old Crone lead her into the house. It was a very small hovel. Just a bed, a table, a chair, a small stove and…in the far corner, something Aurora had never seen before.

“What is that?” she asked.

“Just Granny’s old spinning wheel. Have you never seen one, dearie?” Aurora shook her head. “Well, let me show you how it works.” The Old Crone led Aurora to the spinning wheel and sat her down. “Now you just run the thread through here and wrap it around the spindle. Like this…now you try.”

Aurora didn’t know why, but she could not refuse. It was as if the Old Crone was hypnotizing her. She pumped with her foot and guided the thread with her hand, and as she reached up to touch the spindle…

“Ow!” she pricked her finger. She saw a few drops of blood fall. She began to feel sick, woozy. She stumbled back and the Old Crone made no effort to help her. Soon Aurora was unable to fight anymore and gave in to the blackness. She fell back onto the bed, fast asleep.

The Black Fairy threw off her disguise and laughed. Her plan had worked. She stalked out of the cottage, satisfied that she had won. Then she turned to the cottage and cast a magic spell. A thicket of briars sprang up around the cottage, thick and twisted and deadly.

“What have you done?” cried the Blue Fairy, who had finally caught up with Aurora.

“I have won,” said the Black Fairy. “Your Princess sleeps within this cottage and will never wake…unless of course her true love finds her and breaks through this thicket. But, wait. You sent her true love away less than an hour ago!”

“So, you have been spying on me.”

“Of course. It was the only way to ensure that my plan would work. And now, those arrogant humans will get just what they deserve.” The Black Fairy threw back her head and laughed. As she did so, she melted away into mist and vanished. The Blue Fairy was horrified. She had no idea what to do. The first thing she had to do, unfortunately, was to tell the King and Queen what had happened. But, she noticed, she had left her wand in Aurora’s cottage, so back she went…

And when she got there, she was surprised to discover the young man she had thrown out had returned.

“What are you doing back here?” cried the Blue Fairy.

“I’m sorry if my presence offends you, ma’am,” said Philip, politely. “But I cannot stay away. I know it sounds strange but…I love Rosebud. I will do anything to be with her.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, anything. Even betray my father.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am supposed to be at the palace right now, marrying the princess. But I won’t. I don’t love Princess Aurora. I love Rosebud, the girl I met in the forest today. And I’d rather live in this hovel with her for a hundred years that spend one moment in the palace with someone I don’t—”

“Wait…you are Prince Philip? Aurora’s betrothed?”

“I am. Or, rather, I was.”

The Blue Fairy could hardly contain her joy. Without another word, she led Philip deep into the forest to the Thicket of Briar.

“Why have you brought me here?” asked Philip.

“Because your true love is inside. You must rescue her.”

Philip needed no more convincing. He drew his broadsword and began hacking and chopping at the thicket. Slowly, gradually, he cut a path through to the door which, of course, had been locked. He broke it down and was inside. There he saw her.

“Rosebud!” he cried.

“No,” said the Blue Fairy. “Her name is Aurora. This is your true love and your betrothed! She will awake when you kiss her.”

And so, after taking a moment to absorb this new information and reflect on how life’s funny if you think about it, Philip stepped slowly toward Princess Aurora. He knelt beside her and looked at her sleeping form. So delicate. So beautiful. He held her limp, lifeless hand in his. Then he leaned in and placed upon her lips one perfect, gentle kiss. In an instant, Aurora blinked her eyes and awoke. She looked into the eyes of her beloved and smiled.

Then she pulled him close and gave him a real kiss!

And so, once again, we have a happy ending. Aurora married Philip (a little later than planned, but not bad) and they lived together for many years. The Blue Fairy was made head of the Fairy Ruling Council, who, using all their combined power, managed to strip the Black Fairy of hers and she was forced to wander the Forest for the rest of her life as one of the weak, inferior humans she despised.

And, except for Aurora always having a little trouble getting out of bed in the mornings, everything was truly happily ever after.

THE END

If You Liked My Story, You Might Enjoy:

• “Faerie Tale Theatre” (TV) Christopher Reeve is the Prince, Bernadette Peters is the Princess
• Sleeping Beauty (1959) Walt Disney’s lavishly produced, groundbreaking animated feature was the first to be made in Cinemascope and is widely considered one of the most visually stunning of all his films. Features the song “Once Upon a Dream”
• “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show—Fractured Fairy Tales” The segment called “Sleeping Beautyland” depicted the prince as an entrepreneur who turns the snoozing princess into a theme park. The character was modeled to look like Walt Disney.

Next Week, for Halloween: “The Boy Who Left Home To Learn About The Shivers”

With origins that can be traced back to Ninth Century China, Cinderella is probably the most enduring “princess” story of all time, Cinderella has become synonymous with happy endings. Whenever someone’s life takes an unexpected turn for the better, we call it a “Cinderella Story.” Elements of this story have become famous in their own right, such as spells breaking at midnight, fairy godmothers and glass slippers.

Most modern versions of this story are traceable to Charles Perrault, an unsung chronicler of fairy tales who predates the Brothers Grimm by about a hundred and twenty years.

As for my version, I have corrected one problem that I’ve always had with most versions of this story. It is established that Cinderella is a derogatory name given to the heroine by her steprelatives, but no one (that I’ve heard) has ever established what her real name is. I’ve decided to call her “Ella,” but that’s just my opinion. Most versions also never explain how Cinderella got her fairy godmother. If you believe Butch Hartman, creator of “The Fairly Odd Parents”, she got one just because she was hopelessly miserable, but I’ve come up with my own interpretation.

It might be worthwhile to spend a few moments talking about princesses. There is probably no theme more prevalent in fairy tales than princesses or otherwise beautiful girls and the heroes who ultimately marry them. But do you know why the hero gets the princess at the end of these stories? It’s not because she’s a princess, not because she’s rich and beautiful and powerful. It’s not because she has a glittering gown or a golden castle. It’s because she just happens to be the most wonderful girl in the story. It’s the same reason the prince gets to marry the peasant girl in stories like this one: You can be a Princess without being a princess.

O

nce upon a time and long ago, in a far away kingdom, there lived a wealthy man called Marcus and his wife, Elizabeth. They were kind, gentle and very happy. Elizabeth was fair and graceful and had a great love for all of nature. Most days she would wander the grounds for hours “talking” to the birds and enjoying the flora. The truth is that Elizabeth desperately wanted to have a baby, but was having trouble. But she never gave up hope and she kept smiling and stayed positive.

This is a long extinct practice known as “optimism.”

One day when she was walking through the gardens, she saw a couple of birds fighting over something. It looked like a firefly, which was odd because it was broad daylight, and also the wrong time of year for fireflies. Just the same, it seemed to be suffering, and Elizabeth wasn’t one to judge the choices of others, so she ran over to the birds and shouted “shoo!” and the birds flew away.

“Thank you for your kindness, my dear,” said a voice. Elizabeth spun around and saw that the firefly was gone. And in its place was a lovely old woman in a blue robe with shining blue eyes and a warm, friendly smile. “Those birds would have torn me apart if it weren’t for you.”

“Then you were the firefly?” asked Elizabeth.

“No, my dear. Not a firefly. I’m a fairy.”

“A fairy?”

“Yes. That’s how we travel, you see. By turning into points of light. I was just about to turn back into my usual form when those birds attacked me. Oh, but you rescued me. I must repay the favor. Is there anything you want? Anything at all?”

And of course there was only one thing Elizabeth wanted.

“I would love to have a child. Can you help me?”

“Of course I can,” said the fairy. “They don’t give these magic wands to just anybody, you know.” She waved her wand and touched the tip of it to Elizabeth’s belly. “Your baby will be very special. Blessed. Magical even.” But before Elizabeth could thank the fairy, she was gone.

Soon, Marcus and Elizabeth were blessed with a daughter. She was named after Elizabeth, but quickly nicknamed Ella. The family lived happily for several years, until tragedy struck. Ella’s mother got very sick and passed away. Ella’s father was grief-stricken, but lost himself in his daughter, who with every passing day looked more and more like her mother. Just as fair and graceful and optimistic in the face of adversity.

But as Ella grew up, her father became concerned that she needed a mother. So he soon was remarried to a woman with two daughters of her own, disconcertingly named Goneril and Regan. Ella did not get along with her stepsisters at all. For while she herself was a very good child, Goneril and Regan were spoiled and selfish. And they hated Ella for being so naturally beautiful while they were quite homely. But for her father’s sake, Ella kept smiling and remained happy and optimistic. Of course, this just made Goneril and Regan hate her that much more.

This was the way of things, until tragedy again struck poor Ella’s life. Her father passed away. Now she was all alone in the world except for her stepmother and stepsisters, who, now that Ella’s father was dead, were beginning to show their true colors. Within two days of his death, Ella’s Stepmother had seized control of the estate, and began recklessly spending her late husband’s wealth on clothes and frivolities for her two daughters, who only became more spoiled and horrible.

And poor Ella was forced to wear rags and work as a maid in her own home. She cleaned the floors, cooked the food, did the laundry, ran the errands, organized and alphabetized the library, dusted in placed that no one would ever look. They even took away her room, so she was forced to sleep on a cot in a corner by the fireplace where she would get cinders all over her beautiful face. So Goneril and Regan began to call her “Cinder-Ella” and before long, the name stuck, and Cinderella was who she was.

But even now, Cinderella remained positive. She remembered what her parents had taught her about being kind and gentle and that money was not the key to happiness. She knew that something good would come along some day and she just kept hoping every day. And every night, as she was drifting off to sleep, she would look through the tiny window she could see from her bed and a single tiny star would appear in the sky. Cinderella had seen this star every day for as long as she could remember and knew that it was her special star, looking after her. And as long as she saw that star, she could imagine her mother was still with her and she could stay optimistic.

It wasn’t easy, mind you. Her stepfamily seemed determined to crush her spirit. You see, since they were vain and selfish, they couldn’t understand the simple happiness that comes from, say, doing a hard day’s work. Getting things accomplished. Just being proud to be who you are. Some of the happiest people on this earth have nothing to show for it but dirty fingernails and worn out shoes, but good luck explaining that to the likes of Goneril and Regan. So they heaped chores on poor Cinderella and made sure she didn’t have time to clean herself. Not that it mattered, because her beauty shone even through the dirt on her face. And her optimism could not be stopped.

Now, it happened that the prince of this kingdom, who had been away for many years, was coming home. And His Father, The King decided to hold a great party to welcome him back. His Father, The King was getting along in years, and soon the prince would have to step in and take over the throne. Which meant he would need to get married and have a family so that his son could take over the throne…and so on and so forth, which is just one of the problems that comes with a monarchy.

The problem was that the prince, though very charming, tended to be shy sometimes, especially around girls. So His Father, The King felt the need to push him a little. He decreed that there would be a ball the likes of which had never been seen. And, by royal command, “every eligible maiden” was to attend so that the prince could choose his bride. His Father, The King didn’t even particularly care if he loved her; just so long as they got married and had a son.

Obviously, when this news got around, every young lady in the kingdom was ecstatic. Each one thinking that she could marry the prince and be a princess. You have to admit, it’s a pretty tempting fantasy. Maidens from one end of the kingdom to the other began tearing through their wardrobes and putting on makeup and having their hair done…every one except Cinderella.

Because, of course, Cinderella had to help her ugly stepsisters get ready. She had to iron their clothes, and lay out their accessories, and run to the store to buy more of whatever, and sew and mend and raise the hemline so that Regan could show off her legs and lower the neckline on Goneril’s dress and…actually, that’s pretty gross, isn’t it? The proclamation had said “EVERY” eligible maiden, but Cinderella would never find a free moment in which to get ready.

Finally the day of the ball came and Cinderella’s Stepmother and stepsisters left for the castle and Cinderella herself was alone. This was the last straw, she could take no more. She ran out into the garden through which her mother had walked so many times, collapsed onto a stone bench and began to cry. She cried the cry of her lifetime and with each tear she shed, a tiny drop of optimism left her. Because now it seemed as though there really was no hope for her life to get any better.

“Of course there’s hope, my dear.”

Cinderella looked up, but there was no one around. She must have imagined it. She looked to the sky and saw her star, shining bravely and hopefully as it always did, and it lifted Cinderella’s spirits. As she watched, however, the star moved. It left its place in the sky and came to earth, looking less like a star and more like a firefly. In a moment, the firefly was gone and Cinderella saw a kindly old woman in a blue robe, with blue eyes and a warm, friendly smile looking at her.

“Who are you?” asked Cinderella.

“Don’t you recognize me?” asked the fairy. “Your special star? I have been watching over you all your life, my child.”

“I don’t understand,” said Cinderella. And so the fairy told Cinderella the story of how her mother had rescued her from the birds and how, in return, the fairy had granted her wish.   

“You, Little Ella, are that wish,” said the fairy. “I am your fairy godmother.” Cinderella was moved. This was the first time in years that anyone had called her by her real name. But her fairy godmother didn’t stop there. “We’ve got to get you ready for the ball,” she said and with a wave of her wand, everything around Cinderella changed. A big orange pumpkin on a nearby vine became a beautiful carriage. Four passing field mice became four very confused white horses. Her father’s old hunting dog became her father’s old coachman and when she looked at herself, her rags had become a beautiful shimmering ballgown. On her head was a diamond tiara, and on her feet…glass slippers.

Which you really wouldn’t think would be very comfortable, but in this case they were the most comfortable shoes Cinderella had ever worn.

“Thank you for everything, Fairy Godmother,” said Cinderella.

“You’re most welcome, Ella. But remember, you must be home by midnight. Because at the stroke of twelve, my magic runs out and everything will be as it was.” Cinderella promised to be home by midnight and rode off for the castle.

By the time Cinderella arrived, the party was in full swing. There were lords and ladies, gentlemen and beautiful women all around but no sign of the Prince. She saw plenty of His Father, The King, however, and got the impression that he was looking for the Prince as well.

Cinderella walked all through the ballroom, looking for the Prince. She was so busy looking, that she didn’t notice the fact that as she passed every head turned in her direction. Men were neglecting their dance partners, guards were forgetting their duties and everyone was asking the same question:

“Who is that girl?”

Even the most beautiful woman at the party (Gladys Miller, three time pageant winner and spokeswoman for Hoffman’s Tooth Powder) had to concede her title when Cinderella entered. In fact, Goneril and Regan looked as well and wondered who she was themselves. You see, they were so used to seeing Cinderella dirty and unkempt, they didn’t even recognize her as their stepsister! Not that they paid that much attention to her anyway, of course.

After a lot of walking and no luck finding the Prince, Cinderella stepped outside on the terrace to get some air. From where she was standing she could see three things. A clock tower in the distance telling her that she had three more hours until midnight. A thrilling panoramic view of the kingdom (she tried, but she couldn’t see her house from there). And a very, very handsome man standing alone in the moonlight. He turned around when he he heard her delicate glass footfalls.

“I’m sorry,” he said, then stopped short when he saw how beautiful she was. “I, er…I didn’t know…didn’t know any-any-anyone else was…was…ya know, here.”

 “No, I’m sorry,” said Cinderella. “I was just looking for the…the…” but she couldn’t stop looking at this man and couldn’t remember who in the world she was looking for. All she knew is that she’d found someone far more worth finding than any old Prince. Of course, as you’ve probably guessed, this man was the Prince—hiding from the rest of the party due to his shyness—but Cinderella had no idea and really didn’t care.

As for the Prince, well, he felt the same way about her. “Would you care to dance?” he said. And dance they did. They danced the night away. Alone under the moonlight while the ball raged inside. The two most sought after people at the party waltzed not a hundred feet from a crowd of dancers all wondering where they were…and they didn’t care. Gazing into each other’s eyes; each one seeing something they had never even dared dream of until now.

And then Cinderella heard the clock start to chime midnight.

“I have to go,” she said.

“But wait,’ said her companion. “Who are you? How will I find you again?”

But Cinderella didn’t answer. She ran down the stairs to her carriage. So fast, in fact, that she lost one of her slippers. She didn’t even have time to go back and get it, she just jumped into her carriage and raced into the night. She got home, as it happens, just in the nick of time. The carriage, the gown, the coachman and the horses all vanished, the mice and the dog ran away, and there was Cinderella. All alone in her rags, surrounded by bits of pumpkin. But with the memory of a perfect evening to sustain her…and one glass slipper on her foot.

Which means, thought Cinderella, that the other slipper probably didn’t disappear either, so he has some clue to find me. Thank you, Fairy Godmother. Thank you for everything.

The next day, all anyone could talk about was the ball. Where had the Prince disappeared to? Who was he going to marry? What was in that punch that was so good? Mango? Maybe guava? What is guava, anyway? And, most of all, who was that mysterious woman who had so captured everyone’s attention? Well, their questions (except the ones about the punch, which was a closely guarded secret of the royal caterers) were answered very soon, for later that same day, His Father, The King issued another proclamation:

The good news was that the Prince had found the woman he wanted to marry. The bad news, of course, was that he had no idea who she was. All he had was a slipper she had left on the stairs on her way out. So he was riding through his kingdom trying the shoe on every maiden in the kingdom until he found the girl whose foot fit in the shoe. And that girl would be the princess. This led to some fairly unpleasant encounters with various ladies of the kingdom, all of whom were desperate to wear the slipper. Upon hearing a rumor that it was rather dainty, many desperate young women bound their feet tightly, trying to make them smaller, and one even cut off her own big toe and heel (ugh!) before learning that the shoe was made of glass and such deception would be easily detected. This young woman started therapy the very next day and eventually lived happily ever after in her own right, but now we should really get back to the story at hand.

As soon as they heard this, of course, Goneril and Regan realized that they had another chance to marry the prince. So they put Cinderella to work, trimming and cleaning their best dresses to wear when the Prince arrived. Cinderella, however, was distracted because she had finally realized that the Prince was who she had been dancing with all night! All she had to do was try on the slipper (which had literally been made just for her) and she could live happily ever after.

Later that day the Prince arrived with the glass slipper. Cinderella’s Stepmother presented Goneril and Regan to him as her “only two daughters,” and they both tried on the shoe. Of course, it didn’t fit either of them (despite Regan’s insistence that her foot had swelled overnight due to a bee sting) and the Prince thanked them for their time and prepared to leave.

It was just at that moment that Cinderella appeared. And when the Prince saw her, of course, he didn’t need to try the slipper on her foot because he knew at once who she was. But, he had promised that the maiden whose foot fit in the slipper would be his bride, and he had to follow through on his promise, or else His Father, The King would never forgive him. So he invited Cinderella to sit and asker for her foot, which she gave happily…but before he could slip it on, Cinderella’s Stepmother grabbed the slipper and threw it angrily to the ground where it shattered into a million pieces. “I will never let you become a princess before my real daughters!”

Cinderella was crestfallen, the Prince was devastated and Goneril, Regan and their mother were chuckling wickedly amongst themselves. All hope seemed lost, and it looked as though were were on our way to one of those unhappy endings until a tiny speck of light flew into the room. The same speck of light that had flown down from he heavens the night before and granted Cinderella’s dearest wish now flew to her ear as though it were whispering something.

“What?” said Cinderella as her fairy godmother spoke to her. “Why, you’re right! Excuse me, please,” she added to the Prince. She ran up to her bedroom and quickly returned, tightly clutching something wrapped in a towel. She walked up to the Prince and unwrapped the towel: inside was the other slipper! Of course, now there could be no doubt who that mysterious lady had been and Goneril, Regan and their mother just stood there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed with shock as the Prince, with great tenderness, took her foot in his hand, slid off her shoe and slid the glass slipper on. A perfect fit!

Cinderella and Her Prince married at once. Her hope and optimism had finally paid off (and it does, far more often than you probably think). Now she lived in the palace with the man she loved. Her face was no longer covered in cinders and, though she did some light cleaning from time to time, she never had to slave away sweeping the floors and polishing the silver anymore.

As for her steprelatives, Cinderella…sorry, Princess Ella took pity on them and, using her new clout as princess, had their house restored to its former glory, so that they could live comfortably…but far, far away from her! And that is why everyone involved lived happily ever after.

THE END

If You Liked My Story, You Might Enjoy:

• Cinderella (1950) Walt Disney’s enduring masterpiece which introduced the phrase “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo” to Cinderella’s legacy and gave us the song “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes”
• “Hey, Cinderella!” (1969)(TV) An early Jim Henson special which featured Kermit’s first appearance as a frog (before that, the puppet was just a non-descript green…thing)
• “Faerie Tale Theatre” (TV) Jennifer Beals is the princess, Matthew Broderick is the prince and Jean Stapleton is the Fairy Godmother
• “Jim Henson’s The Storyteller: Sapsorrow” (TV) This alternate version of the story depicts a young girl in disguise as a scullery maid who dresses up every night of a three night festival only to leave her slipper behind on the third night. British comedy duo French and Saunders are her sisters.
• Cinderfella (1960) In this “gender-bended” version, Jerry Lewis is “Fella” a loveable goof who woos a beautiful princess with the help of his fairy godfather (Ed Wynn) and goes from a “people” to a “person.” In my opinion, Jerry’s best movie ever.
• Ever After (1998) This version of the fairy tale jetisoned the traditional details of the story, but stays true to the spirit of the original. Starring Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston and Dougray Scott
• Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister (2002)(TV) Adapted from the novel by Gregory Maguire (who also wrote “Wicked”) it tells the story from the perspective of one of the stepsisters. Stockard Channing stars as the stepmother
• The Slipper and the Rose (1976) Enchanting musical fable with songs by the legendary Sherman Brothers (“Mary Poppins,” “The Jungle Book,” “Winnie the Pooh” et al) features Gemma Craven and Richard Chamberlain as two soulmates on opposite ends of the social spectrum
• “Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella” (1957)(TV) The great songwriting team adapted the story for this made-for-TV musical which originally starred Julie Andrews. It was remade in 1965 with Lesley Ann Warren in the lead, and again in 1997 for ABC’s ‘Wonderful World of Disney’ starring Brandy and Whitney Huston

NEXT WEEK: “The Bremen Town Musicians”